Ahh, the day is done. You come home from work, cook dinner, help with any homework, make lunches for the next day and if it is a bath/shower night, just add that to the list of things to do. Now, it’s time to put the kids to bed. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, and I am sure you do as well, but when its bedtime, its frickin bedtime. My girls are 6 and 8 and while they go to bed at the same time, they technically don’t really go to bed at the same time. Let me explain. My 8-year-old reads in bed and then puts herself to sleep yet my 6-year-old thinks it’s craft time up in her bunk. Why do you need scissors and glue up there?
I know as parents; we are always pushed for time and last on the list is taking time for ourselves. It’s just the nature of the beast when you have kids, especially multiple ones. To those parents who just have one, you have no idea what it’s like with multiple kids in the house come bedtime.
1. Parenting is a team job, or my case a One-Man Show!
Parents have busy lives in various ways which usually include work (whether in office or working from home), PTO meetings, driving carpool to practice, you name it. A parent’s day is never done until your kids are in bed. None of it comes easy, so just remember that sharing the load is helpful to both. By splitting bedtime routine responsibility between both parents, it can allow a brief moment of sanity to take a breather. When you are single parent though, it’s just you and sometimes can get overwhelming but we still have to do the job that is required of us. You become the One-Man Show.
2. Keep the “goodnights” brief
Oh, does this come hard in my house. I think my kids kiss and say goodnight to me maybe 50 times (ok, maybe like 30 but it’s still 30 to many). While I love the affection, there has to be a limit, especially at bedtime. It’s nice, but I go by the “one hug, one kiss” moto. Unfortunately, I am still working on turning the multiple tuck ins to one though. While they get into their bed for bedtime around 7:30, it can then become 8, 8:30 and now 9pm after all said and done.
3. Routine, Routine, Routine
Having a routine is crucial for taking back your bedtime. Depending on the ages of your kids, your routine may be different from mine. Being I have younger ones; I typically use the routine in this chart. Having young kids, bath time can be a little more flexible verse that of kids in the teen era. When you are a single household family, this is typically no problem. Being a single parent and sharing these responsibilities can usually be a little more work to ensure your kids are cleaned on a normal schedule.
American Academy of Dermatology Association “recommends” children 6 to 11 bathe at least twice a week. While bathing your child daily is fine, this is the minimum. When they get dirty, play sports or sweaty, then a bath/shower is necessary for that day. I have tried to get on some kind of schedule with my ex but unfortunately, she makes the smallest things difficult. It really shouldn’t be that hard to come up with a plan, especially when it comes to hygiene.
I do try and read my kids a story, it may not happen every time they are with me, it does happen though. I feel after a day of work and school, spending at least 30 minutes of quality time with your kids helps build your connection more. Sometimes they ask for me to watch a little of their show, play a game or read a book. No matter how much stuff you need to do or catchup on, this can be done after they are asleep or the next day. Time with your kids is limited after a long day of work.
4. Bedtime snacks
Why is it that every time right before bedtime kids are always saying “I’m hungry”. Well yea, I would be too if you barely ate your dinner. My kids try to talk me into having ice cream every night when they are with me or some kind of sweet treat. While we do get the occasional ice cream, it’s usually after dinner so there is some time in between. Most nights though I try to make sure they have something that will be easy to settle with them overnight. The one thing I never say no to are things like fruit, vegetables or yogurt.
5. Make sleep a family priority
It’s best to let the kids know how important good sleep is. Depending on their age, try and set up a regular go to bed/wake up time with them. Even on the weekends. I know a lot of parents who don’t have a set bedtime on the weekend. While you can definitely be a little more flexible here, let’s not go overboard. By having a consistent bedtime for both weekday/weekends, you can ensure your kid has a good solid recommend rest time. You may just need to tweak it a little. Even though my kids are 6 and 8, if they don’t get the right amount of sleep then it will affect their productivity the next day by giving me the “I’m so tired” excuse.
The book Go the F@ck to Sleep is amazing. If you haven’t heard about it, click the link. While it may not be appropriate for the young ones, you can always switch out the “F” word. It’s even best when it’s read by Samuel L. Jackson, check it out here. If nothing else works, you can always be a little threatful but in a nice parent way of course.
